You know your internet marketing campaign is screwed when:
- Your boss refers to the campaign as "a learning experience".
- You get fewer visitors than you have percentage points in your bounce rate.
- Your team looks at you blankly when you say "SEO Copywriting".
- You don't have any analytics tools in place. Just give up.
- You're proud of the fact that you grabbed the top organic search position for your own brand name.
- You think quality score is something given to meat.
- Frank, the developer down the hall who's doing your project in between his other priorities, says "Oh, THAT PROJECT" when you check on his progress.
- You get 15% clickthrough on your PPC ads, and a 10% bounce rate, but you don't sell anything.
- Your boss/client keeps forwarding you blogs posts they found from 1999 about SEO and the keywords META tag.
- "Budget? Oh, we have enough to run for about 3-4 weeks. We have to get a positive ROI by then."
- You suddenly understand what makes some folks flee the country.
- You lie to your family and tell them you're helping sell diet supplements.
- A single conversion is cause for celebration.
- No one at your company knows what a customer is worth.
- No one at your company likes your customers.
- No one at your company likes anyone else at your company.
- You haven't launched a landing page after 2 weeks, because the art department keeps moving the logo around.
- The CEO keeps going in and tweaking your Adwords campaign (I'm a CEO. I do this. I'm a horrible person.).
- Your super-secure login for your e-commerce system is 'password'.
- 24 hours after you launch the campaign, your boss is asking you how it's doing. I'm not talking about a landing page, people. I'm talking about the entirecampaign.
- You're rereading Atlas Shrugged.
- You've realized this was not a good time to go on a diet.
- You're burning through your prescription at twice the normal rate.
- Someone uses the word 'synergy' in a status meeting more than 3 times.
- You're spending more time reporting statistics than you are testing new headlines.
- You haven't tested any new headlines.
- You haven't tested anything.
- You've nodded at every single one of these.
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